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 Vampires Suck

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Invader Zim
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Invader Zim


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PostSubject: Vampires Suck   Vampires Suck Icon_minitimeThu Sep 02, 2010 7:21 pm

Becca Crane moves to Sporks to live with her clueless father, Sheriff Frank , after her mother starts an affair with Tiger Woods. Meanwhile killings have been happening to random people and the number one culprit is the Kardashians. Becca is quickly befriended by many students at her new high school, but she is intrigued by the mysterious and aloof Edward Sullen , who perplexes her during their time in biology. Later, Becca is nearly struck by a van in the school parking lot. Edward inexplicably moves from several feet away and stops the vehicle with a student without any harm to himself or Becca, the student being badly injured. He later refuses to explain this act to Becca and warns her against befriending him. After much research, but reaching the wrong conclusion that he is a Jonas Brother, Edward corrects her saying he's a vampire, though he only consumes animal blood shows her his shiny bling he wears under his clothes.

The pair fall in love but Edward denies having intimacy with her and instead Edward introduces Becca to his vampire family on her birthday. While unwrapping a gift, Becca gets a paper cut, causing Edward's family to relapse by her blood's scent and attempt to kill her. Realizing the danger that he and his family pose to Becca, Edward ends their relationship while saving her from the one of the three nomadic vampires who have been killing humans, Jack , knocking his head off with a baseball bat. Edward's departure leaves Becca heartbroken and depressed for months as she discovers that thrill-seeking activities evoke Edward's preserved image. She is also comforted by her deepening friendship with Jacob White, the cheerful childhood friend who eases her pain over losing Edward. But due to his strange puberty, Becca discovers he has become a werewolf as his pack arrive to maul another of the nomadic vampires. Edward has moved to Brazil and is now dating Lady Gaga but through a series of miscommunications, Edward believes Becca has been killed and attempts to provoke the "Zolturi" — a powerful vampire coven capable of killing him — by standing butt naked in the sunlight at the site of the school prom. Becca rushes to the prom in a Porsche 911 to save Edward. Upon arrival, she is slowed down during the warring factions of Edward fangirls and Jacob fangirls. She is able to make it in time to see Edward completely naked with a disco ball replacing his "thing", which is so bright no one can see him until it becomes twilight and a new moon appears just as an eclipse starts where everyone can see Edward breaking dawn. Everyone stares at him in awe until he bends over to pick up a penny which reveals his hairy butt. Becca after being awe struck shows Edward she is alive but not in time for the Zolturi to have seen him naked. However after a fight between him and the Zolturi leader, Daro, Edward is forced to make Becca into a vampire so their lives would be spared. He does so after Becca agrees to marry him if he makes her a vampire. The movie concludes with Edward taking a blow to the head by the head Jacob fangirl, who ends up becoming the vampirized Becca's first meal.

In my opinion this is halarious with a few gross parts

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