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 Kung Pow! Enter the Fist

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Invader Zim
Invader Zim

Posts : 1252
Join date : 2009-09-15
Age : 27
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Name: Invader Zim
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PostSubject: Kung Pow! Enter the Fist   Kung Pow! Enter the Fist Icon_minitimeFri Jul 23, 2010 9:00 pm

The movie takes place in 18th-century China, and focuses on a character simply named The Chosen One, who is wandering from town to town searching for the man who killed his family on the night he was born under orders from the mysterious Evil Council. His talent for the martial arts were already honed at his infancy, and only vastly improved over time, giving him capability for legendary fighting abilities. He soon drifts into another town, and consults Master Tang, a very ill and slightly deranged sifu, for further training. The master is skeptical at first, but when The Chosen One shows him his identifying mark (his tongue has a living face on it named Tonguey), Master Tang agrees to allow him to train at his dojo. He also introduces him to his two students: Wimp Lo, a young man who was trained wrong as a joke, and Ling, who Master Tang bluntly states will have feelings towards The Chosen One.

The Chosen One begins training showing cartoon-like feats of strength, while Wimp Lo deems him an enemy out of jealousy. Soon The Chosen One learns that Master Pain, the man who tried to kill him as a newborn, has just arrived in town, so The Chosen One goes to find him. Master Pain draws a crowd and demonstrates his powerful skill: undergoing a rigorous beating by his henchmen without flinching in the slightest, then throwing the henchman to the ground in one move. Having won the support of the town's mayor, who lose his toe, Master Pain randomly changes his name to Betty. Soon after, The Chosen One hires people to beat him so he can have the same stamina, but this backfires and he is immediately knocked unconscious. When he wakes up, a mysterious woman with a single large breast flies down next to him and introduces herself as Whoa. Whoa warns him it is not his time to fight Betty, then after briefly performing martial arts playfully with The Chosen One, flies back off into the night sky.

The next day The Chosen One sets off anyway to find Betty, he coming across one of Betty's evil companions: Moo Nieu, a Holstein cow gifted in karate, and with the ability to squirt milk from its udder by squeezing the sides of it. They fight in a scene parodying elements from The Matrix, but soon The Chosen One first punches her udder, stretches and flicks a small udder, then sucks a udder while clutching and violently thrashing the udder while she howls in extreme pain, and milks Moo Nieu until her udder is empty she is drained. He ventures on further and finds Betty swinging a chain around on top of a waterfall. The Chosen One meets him, states his mission of vengeance, and prepares to fight to the death. Lings Father suddenly arrives and tries to stop the unprepared Chosen One, but in the process gets wounded and they both get washed over the waterfall. The Chosen One takes Ling's Father to see Master Tang; it turns out they are old friends. Unfortunately Ling's Father's wound never clears properly, thanks to Tang, and he dies that night. Out of depression, Ling reveals her feelings for The Chosen One. Later in the night, he journeys out to a field and consults the heavens for confidence. Suddenly Muu-Shuu Phasa, a large sentient lion, appears in the sky and dispenses advice in a scene parodying a portion of The Lion King. He tells The Chosen One to take note of 2 different symbols, and tells him that the answer lies in the stars above.

The Chosen One returns to town and finds that Betty's hostility has expanded to the entire city, and is killing anyone who he suspects may be allies to the Chosen One, including Wimp Lo. He finds Ling, Master Tang and even his Dog are dying in the long grass, only to find they are pulling through and surviving, despite being vitally maimed. Taking Ling and his dog to safety, The Chosen One practices fighting wooden replicas of Betty, giving up at first due to the difficulty that the pyramid spikes impose, but soon gets some inspiration from Ling and knows that he is ready. Meanwhile Betty, believing The Chosen One to be dead, is called in by the Evil Council, and is informed his attempts to kill him have been in vain. He formulates a plan and goes to meet Betty at the temple. They begin fighting inside until the Evil Council reveal themselves to be aliens from France, giving Betty supernatural powers to beat down The Chosen One. While partially unconscious, The Chosen One has visions of Whoa and Muu-Shuu Phasa giving him advice. Muu-Shuu instructs him to open his mouth. As soon as he does, Tonguey flies out and attacks the mothership, causing the entire Evil Council armada to panic and retreat. The Chosen One flies up and rips the pyramid caps from the now powerless Betty, killing him. As The Chosen One returns home with Ling, his tribulations are far from over. Master Tang is left behind in the long grass asking someone to help him as he notices an eagle pecking his leg.

In my opinion this film is gross, but halrious
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